how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
