it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
