dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
