Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
