Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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