so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
