he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
