sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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