whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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