On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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