i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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