If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
