Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
being pregnant is like rehab
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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