2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
