I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
