i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
