We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
