brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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