There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
