she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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