Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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