Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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