She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
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