saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
