You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
