he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
he's single and there are thong briefs.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
