We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
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