So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
