It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
