Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
