Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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