The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
high people should be assigned attendants
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
