you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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