apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
