Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
