I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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