it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
