i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
