sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
