Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
