My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
