Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You pole danced in your parka.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
