i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
