would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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