this beer tastes like vomit already
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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