I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
