I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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