She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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