what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
