Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
