Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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