he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
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